Ten little steps to happiness

Happiness, the one word that always sounds so good and seems so hard to achieve at times. It makes you smile but might also bring out the inner demons you struggle with. Webster's dictionary defines happiness as: a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Now from what I've learned from lifetime experience and then latter on read in books, there are two types of feelings that feel the same but are somehow different: happiness and joy (I like to call them pleasure and happiness) 

They do feel quite the same but one of them lasts while the other one is in the constant need for fuel to work on. The first one, pleasure, depends on the circumstances. As in, you can feel good only if all that you demand is happening. It depends on your expectations turning as you wish them to, while the second one... the true state of happiness is always there. It doesn't have a beginning nor an end, it's always the same and it doesn't need any type of fuel other than life itself to work.

So they can both be satisfying but I wouldn't like to count on pleasure. Sometimes even pleasure fails: I don't know about you but it happened to me. I had what I wanted and felt miserable and worse than before getting what I so desired. 

I figured some steps that'll help you achieve that state of really feeling happy.

1. What do you really want?

Seriously, take a piece of paper and a pen, lock yourself in a quiet room and write down everything you want. From material possessions to spiritual and/or intellectual achievements. But, be honest with yourself, don't hold back just because it doesn't sound right to want that or because it's not realistic. Just write it all down, we'll deal with it later.

2. Solve your issues

And I'm not taking about doing the dishes or argue with someone that is stepping on your nerves. I'm taking about something much deeper than that. Figure out what bothers you and why. Work with yourself. I know there are some memories you just want to bury beneath the sea but make sure you deal with the situation before you try to bury something. It may come back as a zombie if you don't kill it properly. Eg. Don't forget that someone hurt you ever, before forgiving them. I know the first thing you'll want to do is just forget all about it, but chances are you'll experience something similar in life, or someone will somehow remember you of that pain... which will bring the old pain to surface again. So before you bury the bag (which is definitely a must - do not keep grudges or torture yourself with playing the victim constantly) make sure you forgive it. I know I had a hard time forgiving and I wouldn't even recognize it, I wasn't even aware of it until I read a quick quiz in a book I was reading at the time to see if you forgave the people that hurt you. The moment I started working with myself I realized there was a huge blacklist of people I failed to forgive but pretended I did. 

3. Look at things through a different perspective

I know it's hard since our brain was trained to think somehow ever since we enrolled in school, but that's a big secret to happiness. Learn to see things more than one way, don't just say... oh but it's just a rope/candy/book/tree, remember that enthusiasm you had when you were little and everything around you was fascinating? Learn to see just as colorful as you did when you were little.

4. Make some time for yourself

And I'm not referring to make some time to master your couch potato skills, I'm talking about taking care of you. Make sure you exercise physically, mentally and spiritually. Truly respect yourself and start by being honest with yourself and  taking care of your body, mind and spirit. 

5. Play 
Not just MMORPG or other computer games. Playing is beneficial to you on so many levels. It helps you relax and feel good, it can help develop relationships with other players and it can help you see things though a different perspective. And you can also burn calories if you're playing twister or you're engaging in a limbo dance competition.  Get your board games out next time you're friends swing by. As Mary Poppins would say: "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and snap! the job's a game" 

6. Relationships
Are important to our well being. You don't have to be a social butterfly but make sure you have at least one relationship in need of strengthening. Invest time and energy in it, learn how to cultivate and heal it to be able to harvest joy out of it.

7. Gestures of kindness
They really make the difference. I know it may sound stupid but don't think too much about it and just try it. Try to be kind to someone today, see how that makes you feel. Aw, and it has to be spontaneous - at least the first time you act upon it. Just keep your eyes open for an opportunity and do something nice for someone. I bet you didn't know that altruistic acts light up the same pleasure centers in the brain as food and sex.

8. Gratitude 
I know you might not have everything you wanted, hell, who does? I think no one ever had everything they wanted but that never stopped them from being grateful for what they already had. And after all, why not? Others might not have half as much as you do. Remember to count your blessings. Researches show that regular expressions of gratitude promote optimism, better health and greater satisfaction with life.

9. Enjoy each moment
When was the last time you stopped walking just to look at the sky? Or you enjoyed a bird's chirp. When was the last time you admired a rainbow, or the smell of fresh cut grass in the morning. Take a deep breath, open your eyes and see the beauty all around you. Enjoy each moment as if it is your last one on this earth (I know it is harder than it sounds but learn to make this a habit). 

10. Nurture an optimistic way of thinking 
It is scientifically proven that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative one. Having an optimistic way of thinking will help you feel more relaxed, think more clearly and feel better about yourself and life generally. 


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8 tips to help you get the perfect gifts

Are you one amongst those that struggle to find the perfect gift for those you love? You try and try but in the end you are poorly satisfied with what you got them? Here are my advices on how to get the perfect gift for the ones you care about. I've learned from experience and they really helped me, so I hope they'll help you as well.

1. Spend some time before spending money

Spend time listening to the people you want to get gifts for. And I mean listening, not pretending to listen while dealing with your own thoughts. Ask tricky sublime questions. It's most likely at one point those persons will start talking about something they are interested in or something they like. It could be something they saw in a movie or read about in a book, or even saw on the street. Just pay attention to what they say when their face lights up and they start talking passionately about something. That right there is your answer. 

2. Keep an eye out before the event 

That's my favorite trick. Whenever I meet those people I spend time listening to what they talk about most or paying attention to what stirs their attention. And nine out of ten times I know what to get them before the event which is a huge headache savior. 

3. Use your imagination

I don't think the quality of a gift stands in the price of in the size (well unless we talk about materialists) but rather in the details and what you add to it. For eg. you could very well pick up a simple photo frame and decorate it by gluing stickers or buttons (sewing buttons that is) to it, maybe cut a heart out of colored paper and stick it as well. Whatever you think goes best. Just use that well of imagination inside your mind.

4. Pick it from the heart

Stop thinking about what they would need or how to get the best gift. Just look around and try to imagine what they would enjoy the most. It doesn't have to be something practical like a food processor or a vacuum cleaner or anything like that. Just try to imagine the person's reacting to receiving what you try to get them. And after you chose something you think they would enjoy, don't just give them and expect them to be extremely happy and satisfied with the gift. Tell them why you chose it, if it was a funny moment you've experienced together that the gifts reminds you off, tell them. Remind them of the good moments you shared and explained that the gift reminded you of them and you hope it'll do the same for them as well. Chances are, they'll really make a connection between your gift and the memory.

5. Make it personal 

I think it's so sad how the habit of gift giving evolved lately. I've seen people that pick up gifts by going into a store and letting the salesperson "suggest" what they should get for their loved ones...and without further thinking they get something and hurry to give it to that person. Where is the involvement? where is the connection? Gift giving is supposed to make a connection between you and the one person you give it to, but since you are not waisting too much time thinking about them and making the effort of really choosing a gift to fit them and you let the salesperson choose it for you, your gift is actually making a connection between the salesperson and the person you are about to give it to. I personally, love the intention of those that give me gifts but hate the lack of involvement when they just get me something with no meaning attached to it. Make it personal! Show me you know me, even the candy box can be made personal. Let me give you an example: You can write a poem for me on the box or make a sweet comment on why you got me that box of chocolate, that particular one... and it must be something else than... everybody says it's good, or... they recommended me. Or even better, get me a box of chocolate I've never dared to try before. It can be any kind of strange flavor, I'll most certainly remember who dared me to eat something like that, and maybe I'll even discover I like the flavor. And to make it even better you can print a diploma and write "Brave heart award" on it for eating that chocolate. Or you can just as well write a special dedication on the box, tell me something you like about me. The list could go on. Just use your memories to capture the essence of the person that's going to receive the gift. Make sure they know this gift was meant for them and only them.  

6. Go for the classics 

If you're really in a rush of time, or the person you want to get a gift for is barely an acquaintance just pick something classic like chocolate boxes, flowers, wine, watches, bags, perfumes and so on.

7. Ask around 

You can ask their friends or family for an advice on what they would like. There are some chances they'll get it right and you'll buy exactly what they want. 

8. Ask them directly 
If you tried all of the above and still didn't find something you think they would really enjoy, and you don't want to get them something they wouldn't enjoy just go ahead and ask them straight for what they want. Of course it'll depend on the way they see the whole gift giving thing, 'cause some might actually enjoy giving suggestions and getting what they want while others will get frustrated thinking you really don't care about them.
 

And because I love giving gifts, here's my little gift for you : If you need help picking up a gift for someone and you think I could help you,   just send me an email at wandering.rachel@yahoo.com
Promise I'll get back at you asap! 

  

To all coffee lovers

How would you feel if I'd tell you your daily morning delight, that sweet creamy coffee that awakens your senses and unfreezes your brain is healthy for you? 

You may feel tempted to blame it all on my imagination and desires but I'm here with proof to convince you a cup of coffee per day is actually good for your health.

The main reason why coffee is healthy is because of the antioxidants it contains. Our bodies produce oxygen radicals, which are damaging to DNA but antioxidants prevent them from doing damage. Antioxidants can be found in fruits and vegetables, but research has shown that coffee is the top source of antioxidants for Americans.

Caffeine is another reason why coffee is good because it has a positive impact on your brain health. Caffeine is an antagonist to adenosine receptors. These receptors slow down neural activity when the chemical adenosine binds to them, producing a sleepy feeling. But if caffeine binds to the receptors, the activity of neurons speeds up.

There is a lower risk in coffee-drinking women to develop endometrial cancer because coffee also lowers the levels of insulin and estrogen. Insulin is well known for its role in prostate cancer, another disease coffee may help stave off.

A study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition shows that regular coffee-drinkers have a less chance of suffering from diseases like: heart disease, cancer and Type 2 diabetes compared to sporadic drinkers or non-drinkers, Reuters reported.

"Our results suggest that coffee consumption is not harmful for healthy adults in respect of risk of major chronic disease," study researcher Anna Floegel, an epidemiologist at the German Institute of Human Nutrition Potsdam-Rehbruecke, told Reuters.

The study included 42,659 people who participated in the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC)–Germany study. After almost nine years, the researchers found that the people who drank four or more cups of coffee a day were at no higher risk for chronic disease, compared with those who drank less than a cup of coffee a day, according to the study.

Daily Glow pointed out that the coffee-drinkers actually had a 23 percent lower risk of type 2 diabetes than the non-coffee drinkers. 

Pros of drinking coffee

There are strong evidences on how coffee helps preventing type II diabetes, Parkinson's, dementia, hearth rhythm problems, strokes and that's not where the list stops. 

In a 2007 study in the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, researchers pooled and analyzed the results of a half dozen clinical trials looking at the effects of caffeine on asthmatics. They found that caffeine produced small improvements in airway function for up to four hours, compared with a placebo, and that even a small dose — less than the amount in a cup of Starbucks coffee — could improve lung function for up to two hours.

The suspicion stems in part from its chemical structure, which resembles that of theophylline, a common asthma medication that relaxes the airway muscles and relieves wheezing, shortness of breath and other respiratory problems. Indeed, when caffeine is ingested and broken down by the liver, one byproduct is small amounts of theophylline.

According to a meta-analysis published in the American Heart Association's journal Circulation: Heart Failure, people who drink two cups of coffee daily have an 11% lower risk of developing heart failure, compared to non-coffee drinkers. The researchers did not take into account the strength of coffee, what time of day it was drunk, or whether it was caffeinated -- factors that could influence the results of the analysis.

Coffee drinkers may also be protecting themselves against basal cell carcinoma, the most common form of skin cancer. Other caffeinated beverages also seemed to reduce the risk of this slow-growing cancer.

Increased coffee consumption also is associated with longer life, according to Research in the New England Journal of Medicine.

Some of the strongest evidence comes from studies on type II diabetes. According to a 2009 meta-analysis, the risk of type II diabetes goes down with each cup of coffee consumed daily. Additionally, a 2007 meta-analysis found a correlation between increased coffee consumption and lower risk of liver cancer. But it's not enough to tell anyone who doesn't already drink coffee to start.

Coffee contains caffeine which is a stimulant. It can enable people to feel more alert and help them to be more active, leading to weight loss. It may also act as a mild appetite suppressant.

And there's evidence that coffee has mental health benefits as well. The results of one study suggested, "Women who consume two to three cups of caffeinated beverages per day had a 15 percent lower risk of depression than non-coffee drinkers."

But

And don't give me that face. There's always a but ( should've  known that by now) 

Coffee can also damage your health if you drink too much. The optimal daily dose of coffee varies widely, depending on the person. Some can't drink it at all. Others tolerate six to eight cups a day (I don't recommended that unless you train to get in the Guinness World Record for drinking the most coffee). Overall the coffee intake depends on each individual's body, so drink how much feels right for you. A warm cup of coffee per day is enough for me.

As common sense might suggest, the greatest overall benefits appear to be in people who drink coffee at moderate levels: two to three cups a day. But there are exceptions: A May 2011 study found that men who drink six or more cups a day had a decreased risk of fatal prostate cancer.

Cons of drinking coffee

Doctors may never consider coffee a standard recommendation because of individuals' varying susceptibility to side effects, said Hensrud.

The side effects can include: headaches, insomnia, heartburn, palpitations, and urinary urgency. Some people avoid drinking coffee or switch to decaffeinated coffee because regular coffee gives them faster heartbeats or irritates their stomach. You know better what's good and bad for you so act accordingly to that. If your stomach is upset or hurting or you get faster heartbeats after drinking coffee don't just drink it because you read on the Internet is healthy. Try switching to decaffeinated coffee or black tea instead. 

Another down side to coffee is that is a drug therefor it is addictive. At least that's what they say. I don't agree with that thou, I can go on days without drinking coffee with no drawbacks... but maybe that's just me.

Famously, coffee got a bad reputation from research in the early 1980s connecting it to pancreatic cancer. But more recent studies have not found the same link, according to the American Cancer Society. Some studies in the past did not take into account the connection between drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, which do contain carcinogens, Hensrud said.

Coffee that's boiled -- popular in Scandinavia, for instance -- will increase bad cholesterol; espresso has the same effect, Hensrud said. But filtering regular coffee reduces those cholesterol-raising substances.

Some milky, sugary coffees may contain upwards of 500 calories -- particularly if they begin with the sound "frap." So, if you think you're doing your body a favor with these treats, health detriments of the added calories and fat may cancel out coffee's magic.

Facts about coffee*

1. Legend has it a 9th-century Ethiopian goat herder discovered coffee by accident when he noticed how crazy the beans were making his goats.

2. Coffee is a psychoactive. And at high doses it can make you see things. It can also kill you

3. Johan Sebastian Bach wrote an opera about a woman who was addicted to coffee.

4. The first webcam was invented at The University of Cambridge to let people know if the coffee pot was full or not.

5. There is a spa in Japan that lets you bathe in coffee, tea, or wine. 

6. New Yorkers drink almost 7 times more coffee than other cities in the US.

7. The U.S Imports more thank 4 billion $ in coffee each year

8. Originally coffee was eaten.
African tribes mixed coffee berries with fat which formed edible

9. All coffee in the world grows in the Bean Belt (is the area between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn)

10. 70% of the world consumes Arabica coffee, which is mild and aromatic. The remaining 30% drinks Robusta, which is more butter-tasting but has 50% more caffeine than Arabica.

11. In the 1675, the King of England banned coffee houses, claiming they were places where people met to conspire against him

12. A belgian man living in Guatemala by the name of George Washington invented instant coffee in 1906. 

*http://theoatmeal.com/comics/coffee

http://www.livescience.com/16297-coffee-facts-national-coffee-day-infographic.html

What's your opinion? 

Meditation tips

Meditation is a practice that's been used for years now. Besides its obvious effects such as quieting your mind and relaxing your body, there are some other side effects to it which come with more good news. Meditation helps you relieve stress and thus it increases the blood flow and slows the heart rate,  it increases the serotonin level - which influences mood and behaviour, it helps you decalcify your pineal gland and fight off allergies and arthritis, it helps you get control of your own thoughts and so on. 

I've learned my lessons so when I first read about meditation instead of raising an eyebrow at the concept I just gave it a shot. I became addicted to it immediately, so ever since I'm trying to learn more and more about it. I find a 10 min session of meditating more effective than a hour of sleep. I don't know how meditation works for you but for me works miracles. 

Here are my tips on meditating:

• A place to meditate

Find a quite place in your house where you can meditate. It can be any room in your house or outside your home ( garden or somewhere outside) just make sure it's a quiet spot (birds chirping and the wind blowing through the leaves don't count as noise ). Close your TV, phone, stereo... anything that can make noise to make sure you won't get disturb. I would also suggest you decorate that spot if it's possible. Bring a plant over there or a painting you like, maybe a fluffy carpet... anything you want to make you grow more attached to it.

• Burn some incense

Incense and aromatherapy are well known for their properties to induce a particular feeling in your body. I love to burn some lavender essential oil in my ceramic burner while meditating.  Lavender is believed to possess a sedative that calms the psyche. Studies show lavender helps reduce stress, anxiety and insomnia. 

• Get in the zone

Get ready to meditate, leave your worries behind and have a positive attitude towards it. Don't try to meditate with an attitude of 'ah, let's get this over with!'. Get excited, get ready...know that this will help you physically and mentally. You can also put on some really slow music with no lyrics to it to help you relax.

• A comfortable position

Don't try poses you can't hold or poses that make you uncomfortable just because they look so good on TV or in magazines. If others can do it, it doesn't necessary mean that you can also do it right away. Maybe they are more flexible or maybe they exercised in order to be able to hold a pose like that. If you want to you can try to exercise as well, I would recommend Yoga. But when you meditate it's really important to be comfortable, so make sure you get as comfortable as you can.  

• Posture 

The golden rule is to keep your back straight, everything else can be adapted. You might find it easier to meditate if you hold your chin slightly downwards and your eyes half opened (that will help you relax and not fall asleep). You can also rest your right hand on the left, with the thumb-tips lightly touching. 

• Start with your breathing

Breath as natural as you can, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly. You can look up some breathing yoga exercises on the Internet to help you figure out how to breath correctly. In order to quiet my mind I often count my breaths - I read this tip in a book and found it effective. With focusing on your breath and counting it, it's harder for your thoughts to bug in. 

• Let your emotions overflow you, don't fight back

Fighting back is a huge mistake. The whole point of meditation is to help you clear you mind, thus when you fight back thoughts or emotions you do exactly the opposite, you could just as well let all those sporadic thoughts be comfortable in your mind. Whatever emotion or thought comes in mind, let it be...observe it, feel it... and let them go when they are ready.

• Don't try too hard

Meditation should equal relaxation and peace of mind... if you don't feel that when meditating, there's something definitely wrong. So, don't get ideas of what you have to feel or experience, just let yourself be. If you get thoughts, don't start to blame yourself for not being able to keep your mind clear. Keep your calm and keep on trying, eventually you'll get a hang of it. I know it took me some time to meditate. 

• Try to focus on a burning candle

That also helps. Burn a scented candle (or a regular one) and watch it burn, I don't know why but that usually helps me. 

• Read some books/blogs on meditation

I would definitely recommend Osho's Meditation The Art of Ecstasy. The book is serious and funny and practical all at the same time. There are multiple meditation techniques he talks about so you can try them all or find one that fits you. The book really helped me so maybe it 'll help you as well. If not, I'm pretty sure there are many other books on meditation.

Now it's your turn...What helps you meditate ?

Ten things I've learned from being a girl

I think that even if I had a chance to choose my genre before being born I would've picked being a girl all the time. There is something special about being a girl, it is truly an unique experience. 

1. There's nothing that can boost your morale like high heels and red lipstick

Nothing can pick you up better  after you had a bad day as fast as red lipstick, high heels and your favorite perfume. I don't know about you but that trick always works for me.

2. You can multitask

Because I can talk over the phone while doing my toenails and still have one free hand. 

3. Bags are more useful than they look

When I wasn't using them, I used to think they are impractical but since I got my first bag and saw that I could fit my phone, pack of napkins, pack of gum, lipstick, wallet, umbrella, notebook and the list could go on, I became addicted to bags.

4. Independence has a sweet taste

A lot of people will expect of you to ask for help like all of the time because you are a cute, little, well mannered, fragile girl...but the days when girls used to carry a lipstick and smile politely are long gone...at least that's how I see it. There's nothing better than depending on yourself.  

5. PMS is real

See, you might think movies are over doing it when you see girls losing their minds when PMS'ing, but it's not a fake. I get mood swings like a bipolar person when I PMS. Not to mention the pain and the craving for sweets, the tiredness...urgh!

6. Seduction is an art

And just like every other art you have to have an eye for it... and you have to nurture your taste for it, that's why make sure you only take lessons from ladies and your natural beauty, not from... well, what you see lately on TV. 

7. Sometimes a girlfriend is a girl you don't even know

Remember that nice girl that lend you a tampon when you needed one and she didn't even know you? or that cute girl in the clothes store that told you a particular dress fits you better? You weren't even acquaintances and still they offered their support. 

8. Listen to your instincts

Instincts are a girl's best friend sometimes. I don't know how come but most of the times I can just tell when something fishy is going on (those are the days when people look at me like I'm crazy or something 'cause I walk with an arched eyebrow - just kidding). Anyway, learn to listen to your instincts... they might really come in hand. 

9. Make up is a powerful weapon

It can emphasize your eyes to make them look bigger, it can definitely hide away those pimples and make you look refreshed and energized after a restless night. There's nothing that make up can't cover up...uhm... expect for the truth! 

10. Don't ask a question unless you are ready to hear the answer to it

I know it may sound like a joke but it actually isn't. Lord knows I've learned the hard way not to ask questions when I wasn't really ready for an answer.

So what did you learn from girls/ being a girl?